Sunday, April 12, 2009

Calling The Wild Pendulum

There are times when I feel especially close to things. Its as if I am actually more in touch, more intimate with everything. Its a feeling of being absolutely present inside. As if the things which separate you or make you feel separate, fall away.

Strangely, thinking about this state and writing about it doesn't help me towards feeling that state of mind. Its only when I manage to throw off the ever present analytical part of my mind, can I take these steps and feel closer to the world in the most intimate way.

But its not just not thinking about things either. Its a real movement internally. Its something that feels like 'relaxing into' but not in an unconscious way. I feel more conscious in these moments than ever. I also feel absolutely naked in my sense of being completely exposed and intimately in touch.

I experience these moments periodically. Interestingly, I find it somewhat elusive, and only rarely can invoke it at will. Its as if the wild pendulum swings and occasionally hits the spot just right.